


slow dancing.

by enbyflorenzi



Series: love for two. [1]
Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bad Boy Sander Driesen, Bipolar Disorder, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Jens Stoffels, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Male Character, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pansexual Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sobbe - Freeform, Soulmates, drijzermans - Freeform, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyflorenzi/pseuds/enbyflorenzi
Summary: where robbe and sander are soulmates.or: robbe loses his memory and doesn't remember about their breakup.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans, Senne De Smet/Zoë Loockx
Series: love for two. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013835
Comments: 21
Kudos: 80





	1. please notice.

**Author's Note:**

> first: it's about their memory together, and slowly things will fall apart.

**"everything that you do, it makes my heart stop."**

the first time Robbe saw him, rain wet his platinum hair, soaking the jacket that certainly wouldn't keep him warm. another thing he couldn't stop repairing was how even in the rain, the cigarette in his lips highlighted the piercing there.

in the right side. and my god, Robbe could die just by looking at him!

but it was impossible. Sander Driesen would never go out with him, right?

* * *

**MONDAY, 08:36.**

monday. again. Zoe's alarm clock echoed through the apartment, which until then was silent. already awake, Robbe got up looking for the phone.

knocked on the girl's door, and nothing. no answer.

— they haven't come back since yesterday, i think they slept at Senne's house.

— but without her phone? — Robbe asked, and Milan just shrugged, returning to eat his toast. he didn't have much time to waste and even if he didn't want to go to class, it was necessary.

walking around the almost empty streets of Antwerp, the only thing playing on his headphones when he decided he could be a little late, sitting on the bench was Brockhampton. the raindrops came back just like last night, which rained for an entire month.

— shit. shit. shit. — Robbe cursed, collecting the materials he had removed from his backpack, hoping they weren't wet. before he got up running, his vision was blocked by a sudden shadow.

a umbrella.

following the hand that held the umbrella with his eyes, he came across a funny scene. so funny it could just be a dream. _sander-the-bad-boy-driesen_ kept him from getting wet in the rain? ha! funny.

— this can only be a punishment for missing class, right? — Sander asked laughing then bit his lip which had the piercing, waiting for the boy to get up, he did quickly after closing the backpack. too shy to say anything, just nodded. the cigarette on the blonde's lips was stubbed out and thrown in the nearby trash.

— let's go?

he asked, and Robbe was confused.

— where are we going?

— to class! or do you want to miss the rest of the day, Ijzermans?

_how he knew Robbe's name?_

it wasn't that far away, they walked side by side for about fifteen minutes and even shared the earphone, being silent after a few seconds was embarrassing.

there it was. the school.

— see you later, Ijzermans.

and left. Robbe stood there, watching him disappear under the raindrops, until realized he was holding the umbrella.

fuck.

well, at least it was an excuse to see Sander again.


	2. umbrella boy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> please, let me know what do u think about the "new" chapter! x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a playlist for this au: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Qq00WhaweZL431LHz3GdJ?si=TjijC0dJRCKbv9L2AwZ1YA  
> or u can search: "slow dancing (au)" on spotify! thnx.

**03:15, Antwerp.**

hope grew in his chest even hours after that afternoon. the umbrella under his chair would not let him forget even if he wanted to.

and there, a search for Sander appeared. _who was he?_  
not that story that everyone swallowed without asking about the "rude boy", there was something good in the blond and Robbe knew the moment he was no longer in the rain. 

**and he was in the rain alone for an eternity.**

**07:15**

the hours seemed to slip between his fingers, the sun soon cleared the room and it was a new day. _again._

but the animation slammed the door quickly when he thought that maybe the boy was at school. even because he would have exams in the second time. 

the way to school was the same every day, but of course he couldn't forget his friends. the first one he met halfway was Jens and janna, it was a bit strange to see them so close and not dating anymore. 

but the important thing is that they were friends. 

— hei! — Janna said she saw him, giving him a hug. soon after, Moyo and Aaron came. the headphone was left aside and gave way to random conversations. 

it was faster than he expected, in less than twenty minutes, they were passing through the school gate. and the first thing the boy did was look around, looking for the Sander motorcycle. 

Jens wasn't a fool, he realized that Robbe stopped out of nowhere, but certainly it was silly. it was nothing. he shrugged his shoulders, following with a Robbe a little disappointed for not having found the boy.

— guys, go ahead, have to go to the bathroom. — he warned, going towards the bathroom. the corridors full of stressed and anxious studies made him feel anxious. and it was the last thing he needed at that moment. 

after washing his hands, he sighed before leaving. and not all the sighs in the world could prepare him for when his breath failed. Sander had his back against the bathroom wall.

— fuck. — it came out like a whisper when Robbe felt his heart almost go out his mouth, and Sander's laughter seemed to echo in his mind. warming him inside. 

— sorry! sorry! — he said while laughing, making Robbe laugh too, saying a "it's okay" back.

— if i had known you were so hard to find, I wouldn't have left my umbrella with you, Ijzermans. — Sander said winking, the playful tone never left his voice. not even for a second. 

Robbe's hands were shaking. he sought their own backpack to get the umbrella, returning it. 

— i'm sorry, i- shit, i'm sorry. — as if the blond had noticed his trembling hands, he took the object in his hands, touching his fingers. 

that was enough to Robbe feel his body warm again. 

— it's ok, Ijzermans. 

— i swear i would return it. sorry. 

— maybe i wanted you to keep it.

the faces getting too close. the brown eyes fixed on the piercing in the sander lips. god, wanted to kiss him forever. 

— why? — Robbe was sure his words came out like a whisper. 

— to have a reason to see you again. 

it didn't sound like a joke, the playful tone wasn't there. the alarm echoed down the hall, disturbing the boy's thoughts as he recalled the evidence. 

**— see you later, umbrella boy.**

and walked away with the umbrella boy and a part of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave ur comment and let me know what you think :)


	3. not afraid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> pls let me know what do u think about the "new" chapter!  
> TW: episode of dissociation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a playlist for this au: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Qq00WhaweZL431LHz3GdJ?si=TjijC0dJRCKbv9L2AwZ1YA  
> or u can search: "slow dancing (au)" on spotify! thnx.

Sander no longer needed a reason to see the boy, as they slowly got to know each other. the umbrella was the beginning of a friendship. 

the exams were already over, they were sitting outside the school. Robbe had his head resting on Sander's lap, who would never complain about it, letting the boy rest.

after all, it had been a hard week for everyone. the nap was interrupted by a text message, which Robbe quickly opened to read. 

**it was a picture of him kissing a boy.**   
**the photo was taken the same day Janna found out about everything. the poison seemed to run in his veins, exchanging the pain for the alcohol and the alcohol for the truth. until kissing the boy.**

**he liked the taste of freedom touching every part of his mouth, the taste flowing in his tongue, but he didn't like what happened afterwards. the regret grew so much in his body that he ran to vomit, after that he never returned to that place.**

and now the truth was knocking on his door in a way he never thought would happen. 

the emptiness seemed to slowly take over his body, the feeling of nothing being real. _he wasn't real. or was he?_

he got up from the Sander's lap, sitting on the bench. his eyes fixed on the screen for minutes, the blond frowned when he realized that the boy was staring so hard at the phone that the screen had turned off and hadn't moved or closed his eyes.

— i have to go. — Robbe said, the words dragged as if he had no idea what he had just said. 

— come on! we just got here. — Jens answered, but didn't look at him. 

Robbe still stared at the phone, which Sander gently removed from his hands.

— i have to go. — he repeated three times in a row, his body was already standing in the direction of the house. sander touched his hand hoping to make him stay, and a touch would make the boy feel warm for days, he simply passed noticed. 

_because he felt nothing._

— come, i'll take you. 

the blond said goodbye to everyone, interlacing his fingers with the boy who looked at him for the first time, but something didn't seem right in his eyes. the way home was silent, the boy had whispered that he didn't want to go to the apartment, so they went straight to the sander's room, which didn't let go of his hand even for a second. 

— hey, what happened? — he asked when they sat on the bed, the blond's worried eyes seemed to study the Robbe features. 

— you're beautiful. — was the only answer he got, and it caused a laugh. 

— thanks, baby. — the word "baby" seemed to have the attention of robbe, who looked at him slowly. but did not seem ready to make direct contact. — but what happened?

Sander's heart hurt at that exact moment his brown eyes filled with tears. everything seemed so empty and painful at the same time. 

— i'm screwed. 

the words came out of his mouth as if he couldn't control himself anymore. as if it was the limit. finally, he told the boy about the message, but he promised mentally that he would never speak or tell anyone what happened that night. what happened after the kiss. what happened on the way home.

not even sander. _the sunny boy_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave ur comment and let me know what you think :)


	4. perfect places.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> pls let me know what u think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst is coming soon ):  
> there's a playlist for this au: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Qq00WhaweZL431LHz3GdJ?si=TjijC0dJRCKbv9L2AwZ1YA  
> or u can search: "slow dancing (au)" on spotify! thnx.

they slept right there, between the Sander's decision to protect him forever and the fear of Robbe.

— I've never seen you as dazed as i did earlier. is that why it happened? 

— yes. 

he meant "yes, it was for what happened two years ago. it was also for what happened when i was a child. what will happen." but it took a while to take a deep breath and admit it out loud. 

— it was an episode of dissociation. 

and there was no more room for lies there. Sander sat on the bed, looking at the boy who was still lying, but who was also looking at him; honestly, they looked at each other as if one were the universe of the other. 

— are you okay now? — there was a tone of genuine concern in his voice, and that was enough for the boy to sit, leaning his forehead against his.

too close. 

— yes, sunny boy. 

a laugh echoed through the room, filling the boy's chest with happiness. 

— what? sunny boy?

the boy nodded, looking at him.

— what will i do without you, sunny boy? 

— i hope you never find out.

Robbe looked at him curious, Sander's lips close to his. too close to the point to feel the boy's piercing brush on his lips. 

— be mine, Ijzermans. 

  
the lips glued on each other, they kissed as if there wasn't a tomorrow. 

— hm, I i'll think about it, Driesen.

**yes. yes. yes.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment!


	5. drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> pls let me know what u think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a playlist for this au: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Qq00WhaweZL431LHz3GdJ?si=TjijC0dJRCKbv9L2AwZ1YA  
> or u can search: "slow dancing (au)" on spotify! thnx.

**"— be mine, Ijzermans."**

**"— i i'll think about it, Driesen."**

**THREE YEARS LATER.**

he fell asleep between the warm arms of his boyfriend, who had spent silly hours by nickname. sunny boy. 

his eyes seemed to weigh, as if he was sleeping for several days. and certainly not the scenario he wanted to see when he woke up, it seemed more like a hospital room. 

it was really a hospital room? he was dreaming? 

"shit, i think i've dissociated again." 

but his thought was quickly cut in half when the doctor came in, surprised to find him awake. after some exams — which took longer than he had actually taken — the visit was allowed. 

nothing in his life could prepare him for what happened when Jens entered the room, his face pale and very different from his friend. from the same friend who didn't know the truth, which the boy didn't tell him. 

the tears running down his face and the sobs interrupting his speech, so he gave up talking, rushing the steps to embrace Robbe. 

— i have never been so happy about something as i am now that you woke up.

he was only sleeping in the sander's room, they didn't even take that long. 

— what the fuck are you talking about? jens, i know i'm gone, but-

— what do you mean 'gone'?

— yeah, sander just took me to his house.

— wha- what year are we in?

— 2017.

the shock seemed to weigh on his shoulders. Jens' mouth opened several times to answer, but how would he explain it?

— we're in 2020. — Robbe's face denounced that he was so close to telling the boy to go fuck himself, but Jens was quicker:

— what was his last memory?

— me and sander were in his room, he kind of asked me on a date. 

the words seemed to fade away according to each memory. the world wouldn't be the same, Jens knew, but he said anyway:

— Rob, you guys broke up three years ago. i'm sorry. 

as if he was destroying himself little by little, Robbe couldn't hear anything anymore. his sunny boy had left. 

without him.


	6. falling apart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> there's a playlist for this au: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Qq00WhaweZL431LHz3GdJ?si=TjijC0dJRCKbv9L2AwZ1YA  
> or u can search: "slow dancing (au)" on spotify! thnx.

the raindrops dripped through the window. and the boy who saw them falling through the hospital window thought that maybe, this was the first time Sander wouldn't show up with an umbrella. 

the sky seemed to cry too, and a relief ran through his body. the details had been hidden, but most of the story erased from his mind, was told by Noor who arrived in the room hour later. 

"— why am I here? I mean, what really happened?

— you crashed your car a week ago. apparently you were drunk".

deep in his heart, he felt his friends didn't really know what had happened. maybe he wanted to crash the car?

"we didn't know what had happened, you disappeared for weeks, didn't eat, didn't sleep and kept repeating that "it wasn't good enough" and that's when I realized what had happened."

Robbe wanted it to be a lie, but when he picked up his phone and realized that Sander had blocked him, everything fell. his feelings crushed by the same hands that one day touched his waist with such affection. 

"— where is he now?

— Robbe.

— please, just... where is he, Noor?

— Rome."

the only hope of recovering the pieces of his heart was in Rome.


	7. hard feelings pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [EDITED]
> 
> (promise that everything will be fine, and don't be rude with sander ok)

**ROME**

"hi, baby, i-" shit. like a slap in his mind, Robbe remembered that years had passed. they were no longer dating. he pressed the button to delete the voice message.

"Sander, i'm putting my feet in rome right now, i'm coming to find you."

which wasn't a lie, he convinced Noor to give him the address where his ex-boyfriend was living. the big fact is: maybe he was living with someone. maybe he was even married, and that was something Robbe would never be mentally ready for. 

almost an hour and a half by cab until he got to the address. shit, it was right there. already outside the taxi, he walked slowly to the front door, his shaking fingers touched the wood when he knocked on the door.

"I'm coming!" he heard the Sander's voice echo after so many years, and everything seemed to shake inside him. the shaking lips thinking about what he would say was interrupted when the boy opened the door. 

three fucking years, and sander hadn't changed a bit. not physically. 

— wh- what are you doing here? 

— i called-

— i know, i heard. but i need to know what you're doing here, Robbe. 

— i came to see you. 

— i came out of Antwerp not to see you, and you have the brilliant idea of coming here? — an acid laugh echoed. something had changed. 

**"what happened while i was gone? who hurt you, baby?"**

— you need to go. now. 

there was no room for him to answer or even try to stop, the door closed and there was nothing more to be said. 

a regret weighed on the boy's shoulders as he realized what he had done. going to an unknown place, with no place to stay and no money for food? wow, great idea, Robbe Ijzermans!

on the side of the Sander's house, down the steps there was a bench that seemed to be half hidden. it was exactly there that he would go to sleep. he took the phone out of his pocket because he remembered that he needed to warn that he had seen the boy, but soon he realized that he was out of battery. 

universe 1 x Robbe 0

his eyes started to grieve and maybe he had even regretted traveling without the supervision of a doctor. a pain hit his head in full, and he decided it was time to sleep. 

deep down, it wasn't an option, he had fainted from pain. but of course, let's call it sleep.

shaking, on the edge of a panic attack. that's how Sander stayed after closing the door, sliding against the wood until he sat on the icy ground. it was so hard to make him go away like that. again. 

hours later, he was still there, his face against his hands and the dry tears on his face. the bark of his dog woke him up, rising from the floor and opening the door.

the bulldog was barking as if there was someone in the house.

— Luna? shh, there's no one, daughter. — but she wouldn't stop and the little puppy pointed towards the side of the house, he quickly went down the steps and approached the bench. there was someone there. 

fear settled on his body when he saw someone lying there, but he was soon replaced by panic when he recognized the sweatshirt. it was Robbe. 

— hey, i thought you were gone.

no response. as he got close enough, he saw the boy's pale lips.  
enough. it was enough, he had already endured enough lying in this cold and sander took him inside the house, in his arms. 

— warm. — Robbe murmured as he snuggled against his arms, and the blonde only thought about how they could get to that point. 

when he opened his eyes, he murmured again:

— what happened to us, sander?

— you know. 

— actually, i don't know. — some tears fell on his face and sander hugged him harder.

— what do you mean?

— i lost three of our years in a car accident. i have no idea what happened between us, why we broke up, why you seem so hurt. i'm sorry. 

the world seemed to be slowly breaking into tiny pieces. the sander fingers caressed your face before saying:

— not today. you're tired, robin.

— i love you. 

the sudden confession caused a shock in both of them, but the platinum smiled with his heart catching fire inside himself.

— i know. i love you too.   
he put robbe on the bed covered with several sheets and he looked warm. before leaving the room, he heard the boy whispering:

**— can you, please, love me tomorrow too?**

**"yes."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment!!


	8. can we just talk?

the morning came quickly and brought anxiety too. the same anxiety that kept Sander from sleeping during the night, he was worried about Robbe that surely was warm, but it was strange not to be able to hold him as he did before. 

he called his " _ex-friends_ " warning that Robbe was fine and was sleeping. the longest conversation was with Milan, who knew both versions.

"Milan, look, i know. but i need to do it today, i'm nervous enough, so can you give me some support?" even with Milan's support, the anxiety was there and didn't seem to go away even when Robbe woke up, walking down the corridor rolled up on the comforter. his eyes swollen and his face tired, he scratched his eyes while murmuring a lazy: 

— good morning. 

as if this had caught him off guard, Sander's breath seemed to reach the limit. he said "good morning" back and they both stared at each other for a few seconds until Robbe went around the room, sitting on the armchair. 

— we- shit. can we talk? — Sander didn't even know where to start, everything that happened seemed wrong and now a big bullshit. how would he explain three years in one day? 

— yes. please. — Robbe answered, knowing wasn't ready to listen, but certainly needed to. 

— i can swear to you that we were happy for so long, but I wasn't good, Robbe. I wasn't good for you, and our relationship was getting weary with every crisis of mine, there were some things I said that hurt you, but you never told me anything.

he took a long pause, the fingers twitching Robbe tried to touch the skin of Sander, which distanced himself. 

— you never said, but i knew. fuck, of course i noticed your face every time i got better from a crisis and this was repeated over and over again. i had to leave or it would ruin you. 

as if things were connecting, Robbe could taste the memories returning slowly on the tip of his tongue. it wasn't at all clear and objective, but he remembered some of those days.

— what did you tell me?

— what?

— what did you told that hurt me? 

he wouldn't do it again. he wouldn't let the same words come out of his mouth again, he wouldn't give himself the freedom to hurt the boy. not this time. 

— Sander, please... i need to know. 

— why? why would you want to know that? 

— because i need to make sure my memories are real.

— everything you remember is real somehow. 

— you...talked about kids, didn't you? 

and there was the key to the panic door. he had nowhere else to run.

— yes, i know that shouldn't change anything, but i didn't really want to have said that. the words came out of my mouth and i couldn't think anymore, so you smiled at me as if it hadn't hurt you and dissociated for hours. i didn't know what to do. 

the panic running through the boy's veins, he just couldn't remember that he'd dissociated next or in front of sander, which was probably caused by the subject or the screaming. 

— i used to do this around you?

— dissociate? — Robbe nodded, ashamed. 

— the first time this happened was in the incident in the photo, which was leaked anyway and you managed to take over. the others were becoming "normal".

it took a few minutes until the shaking and icy hand of Sander reached Robbe's hand in fear that he had dissociated, as it wasn't the case, he tried to move away again, but the boy didn't let it, intertwining his hands and staring at the body which seemed to be warming up little by little by the feeling filled with homesickness. 

— i know what you said, and i know what i said that day. i will repeat it in case you didn't understand: nothing in this world will make me love you less. not even every time we fought over bullshit or even made the competition of who jumped higher in bed, nothing in the world will change my mind. 

he was crying. the tears flowing down his face, but that didn't stop him from continuing:

— it wasn't and never was your right to decide for me, Sander. you turned your back as if it meant nothing to you, and knowing you did it for me is what hurts. because i would never ask you to leave. 

the sander hiccups echoed in the room, the boy wrapped him in a hug. he was broken into so many pieces that he would never imagine that Robbe would be the one to put them back together again. 

— i love you. — he whispered among the sobs.

— shhh, i love you too, sunny boy. 

a weak laugh moved the bodies of the two who looked at each other, smiling through nostalgia. 

— sunny boy, huh? 


	9. bury me in gold chains.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of blood, violence, attempted suicide.  
> sorry for the wait in bringing a new chapter, this chapter tired me mentally because it brought me some triggers. so please be careful when reading!

they spent the rest of the morning lying in bed after having breakfast, remembering things, telling stories. it wasn't a fairy tale in the end, there was a lot they needed to understand, listen to and just live with. 

it wasn't so strange, but nostalgia kept them warm. 

both were carrying traumas, Robbe still had some memories that were left in limbo. Sander thought a few times that day about asking about the accident, what it caused, and whether he had been physically hurt, but always left the subject aside. 

— if i didn't come here, we would never see each other again?

— i would probably find you wherever i was but the universe took care of that.

— when are you going? — he meant: when are **_we_** going?

— next month, i came to participate in an exhibition at the center.

— wat? and you didn't told me? 

he was so happy and proud that sometimes he couldn't believe that Sander, an amazing artist, could think so little about himself. 

— baby, it's no big deal.

— bullshit. when? 

— next week. why? do you want to go? 

— and you really think i wouldn't see you? 

they were fine. between the laughter and random conversation, a pain that started in the ribs and went slowly to the head started to spread. Robbe was talking about something when he closed his eyes feeling the pain, but this didn't go unnoticed by the blond who quickly sat on the bed asking if everything was ok. 

was he? 

the boy nodded, lying on the bed again. even after leaving the hospital, he had never felt this way, the blond's warm arms embraced his waist, keeping him close and comfortable. 

— do you need anything? 

— you. 

and there Robbe wasn't sure if when he said that, it was a "please don't ever go away" or "please hold me like this forever" maybe it was a mix of both, he heard the blond murmuring: "you already have me." it was enough for him to fall asleep. 

**[...] tw: mention of blood, violence, attempted suicide.**

the glass was broken into small, sharp pieces, spreading through the boy's skin, which quickly seemed not to breathe in the blood. as soon as he opened his eyes, he knew exactly where he was. 

He was in the night of the accident, inside the car before everything happened. He looked to the desperate sides, trying to get out, but a voice echoed: 

— you were going to him, weren't you? — strangely, he knew exactly who he belonged to. He took a deep breath before talking. 

— Eric, let me go. 

— you were going, weren't you? — Eric repeated, squeezing Robbe's wrist, who hadn't even noticed how purple his wrist was. he wasn't feeling anything at that moment. 

— yeah. — he confirmed, tears were running down his face when Eric got out of the car. when Sander left, Robbe began to develop habits not exactly healthy like: sleeping with Eric, who felt pleasure in hurting the boy. 

Robbe watched him go away, turning his back and the tears eventually stopped flowing. he had the neutral expression, as if nothing had happened. until he started the car, that's when he noticed he wasn't feeling his hand touching the steering wheel, nor the pieces of glass in his skin by the glass that Rric broke. 

he didn't felt anything. 

_**i had enough**_. that's what he thought when he started driving, his vision was focusing on everything but the road that was getting darker and darker. until he hit the car. 

— fuck! — Robbe woke up, tears flowing down his face, wetting his pillow. he looked at the blond who was sleeping peacefully, but woke up with the sobs echoing through the room. 

— baby? what happened? 

the plug fell before he expected. **it wasn't exactly an accident.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment!


	10. blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to describe a little bit the short "relationship" but that some of robbe's behaviors are explained.  
> tw: abusive relationship.

breathing seemed an extremely impossible thing at that moment, he pulled the air from his lungs urgently while sander tried to calm him down, but he kept moving further and further away. it took a few minutes for him to breathe, he sat on the bed opposite the blond, which even confused, gave him space. 

— i had someone. 

sander wouldn't say he was surprised, he knew that through Milan. but still, listening seemed to make it real. 

— i was with Eric after some time, when you left something in me seemed to have died, i didn't feel anything. i didn't feel when he touched me, nor when he kissed me or the first times that _it_ happened. — the last part filled the blonde's chest with fear, what exactly did that mean? what had happened? 

— he used to control me and my words really didn't have that much difference, so he told me to shut my mouth. it didn't take long for him to realize that i didn't feel anything physically, so he started hurting me. 

he whispered one: " _but still, there was nothing alive in me._ " which didn't go unnoticed by Sander. so much had happened since he left. 

— it wasn’t him who crashed the car, baby, it was me. 

— wat? Robbe, you don't have to lie for him.

— it was me. he went away, and i didn't know how to move on without feeling anything. sander, i didn't even feel my hand on the steering wheel! i thought i was going crazy! 

before Robbe said something again, Sander's arms made him feel at home. breaking into little pieces, but being sure he wanted to be well, he wanted to get better to make it work. both of them. 

— shh, it's ok, you hear me? it wasn't your fault and you'll be fine.

— do you promise? 

— you won't get rid of me anytime soon, baby. 

— good, because i don't want you to go. 

he whispered "never" as he distributed kisses across Robbe's face, down to his neck, watching the boy bite his lip. they already knew where it was going, yet it continued. a few hours later, the clothes were lying on the floor. Robbe had his head on his Sander-free chest, which stroked his hair. 

— did you think about therapy? 

— yeah. why? 

— because it's a lot! and you deserve to be okay, baby, you deserve to have a peaceful and happy life. but if you ever go, I hope it will be for yourself.

sleepy, he mumbled "uhhh, I'll see that tomorrow" knowing he should really get back to therapy. he wanted to try for himself and for both.

before he fell asleep, he whispered: 

— i'm sorry for being sticky with you in the past, it wasn't very healthy. 

— it's fine, i was too. — and he really was. so they wanted something healthy, no emotional dependency. 

— i love you with all my heart, but don't desperately need you. i want to stay here because i love you and maybe because your hair in the morning is cute. But it’s not need. 

and it wasn't, sander was proud of how his boyfriend had matured. truly proud. 

— i love you. 

— i love you too, silly. 

_**"i love you because you're the only safe place that i want to be."** _


	11. grow as we go.

eventually Robbe tried to consult with a psychologist. the signs of post-traumatic stress were appearing in daily life, so he didn't have much choice. 

it was only temporary, since it was only a week before he returned to Antwerp. which meant that the art exhibition was that night. Sander seemed to be on the edge of a precipice every second, calling every minute for those responsible for the gallery to find out if everything was ok. And it was.

ㅡ baby, come here. ㅡ Robbe called him, tapping his hand on the bed so he could sit down. which was quickly done. the boy's fingers played with the blond man's hair, who sighed, leaning against his boyfriend's shoulder head.

ㅡ is going to be all right today, you are incredibly talented.

ㅡ but what if it's nobody there?

ㅡ I promise it will be full of people.

ㅡ pinky promise?

ㅡ pinky promise.

Robbe put his promise to good use when Sander left in the afternoon to finish some details in the gallery, which left warning that he would only come back at night. which was to the advantage of the boy.

ㅡ just for you to know, we just arrived. ㅡ the voice echoed on the phone and Robbe laughed, warning that he was already arriving. the streets of rome would never stop enchanting him.

ㅡ now and then, if it isn't my best friend. ㅡ Noor spoke as soon as she ran to hug robbe.

ㅡ they're still coming, right? ㅡ he asked if he felt insecure. robbe really wanted everything to work out.

ㅡ don't be an idiot, they went straight to the hotel and will be there.

**_i hope._ **

they talked long enough for Noor to tell him everything that had happened while he was away. she had found a possible love. a girlfriend. the minutes went by quickly and soon they needed to separate so that Robbe returned to the house in time to arrive first than Sander.

ㅡ I'm home!

announced knowing that there was no one, going straight to the bathroom to get ready. he had even rented a suit and my god how he hated suit.

ㅡ baby? ㅡ he heard sander calling, leaving the room dressed in the suit.

ㅡ I hate wearing a suit. ㅡ he complained, hugging his boyfriend.

ㅡ you don't need to wear a suit, it's an exhibition, not a wedding.

ㅡ but I wanted to look good.

ㅡ you're good anyway, babe. want to wear my jacket?

of course he did. the nostalgia of wearing the jacket from when he first saw Sander.

finally, they were ready. eager, but ready. at the end, there were people in the gallery and about three paintings had been sold. Robbe's anxiety seemed to reach its limit when he realized his phone had downloaded and the surprise was going down the drain.

ㅡ hey, shithead, did you really think we wouldn't come? ㅡ Moyo's voice surprised him, turning towards the door.

everyone was there. even Amber, who probably came dragged by Aaron or Zoe. Zoe was the first to give a hug, followed by Jens, Senne, Milan, Moyo, Luca, Yasmina and Aaron.

ㅡ stay here, I'll call my artist.

it wasn't hard to find sander who seemed to explain the concept of the painting to some people around, stopping to admire him.

ㅡ hey. ㅡ he said when he noticed robbe looking at him, giving him a kiss.

ㅡ i said i would keep my promise so please, close your eyes.

and sander did, closed his eyes and let his boyfriend guide him. when the Robbe's hands left his eyes, he opened his eyes and a smile quickly took over his face, greeting everyone. everyone was there.

ㅡ how long, artist! ㅡ Jens said, smiling.

ㅡ see? i said it would be crowded! ㅡ Robbe whispered, getting a kiss and the happy face of his boyfriend.

ㅡ come on, you have a lot to explain to me. what are these colors here? ㅡ Milan dragged him, making everyone laugh.

**life was better with everyone growing together.**


	12. you're the only one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hei! it's the final chapter, and it took me like four or five months to write the whole fic. thank u to everyone who left kudos and comments, that means a lot to me. 
> 
> hope u like it. bye!

the night in the gallery was like a free sample of all the happy moments they had gone through or would still go through. even the sad ones were moments to keep in memory.

two days later, after enjoying all the ballads and parties in Rome, everyone returned to Antwerp ㅡ with the exception of Noor who decided to enjoy the city a little more ㅡ and nothing changed between them.

it was exactly like three years ago only that they were no longer in the middle school and surely some ideas and opinions had finally changed.

Robbe and Sander rented an apartment all their own, with no one to get in the way every time they debuted every corner of the apartment, especially the suite.

he was lying down, naked and with his body wrapped only by the sheet, waiting for Sander who went to get food. it didn't take long for a song ㅡ ** _blues_** to echo in the room, making Robbe put on a panty and pick up his boyfriend's shirt, wearing it.

when he arrived in the room, he found Sander singing the lyrics of the song, when he realized that his boyfriend was there, he offered his hand.

ㅡ what?

ㅡ hold my hand.

and he did, he held the Sander's hand that pulled him to dance. the blond's right hand went directly to his waist.

ㅡ what are you doing? 

Robbe asked, coming out more like a whisper because his lips were too close to his.

ㅡ what do you think? we're slowly dancing.

a smile grew on the boy's face that couldn't resist, kissing him. they stayed that way for a while, just enjoying each other's company. until Robbe confessed:

ㅡ I never danced with anyone.

ㅡ so am I your first? ㅡ he joked, listening to his boyfriend laugh.

ㅡ no. **_you're the only one_**.

Sander kissed him again, that day they learned a new concept of slow dancing.


	13. help

ok, i was thinking: if i make slow dancing like a part of series, would you read? 

there's some options:

1\. side history: robbe talks about eric in the therapy, and he's ready to talk with sander about that too.

2\. side history: what really happened to cause robbe's trauma (before the accident)

3\. no, i think it's okay. it had a nice ending so there's no need.

4\. suggestions! 

pls tell me what u think, leave a comment :)


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